Panic and Other Fun Things

I have panic disorder (among other things I’ll talk about later).  It’s mostly under control and normally I forget I even have it.  Today though it reared it’s ugly head and I had to break down and take medicine.  I have a lot going on so it shouldn’t be surprising, school, studying for my insurance exam and working on an Op Ed piece I hope to have published in my local newspaper.  Did I mention I am also currently unemployed and trying to survive on a savings account that get slimmer by the minute.  That in itself should be panic inducing but my life has been up and down for the last year so on it’s own it’s not worth a full blown panic attack.  Paired up with any of the above though and the flood gates open and my heart roars like a tsunami.  In no time at all I go from slightly maladjusted to full on crazy pants and I have to say its not as fun as it sounds.

My doctor’s appointment went well though and we are trying some new things.  I’m hopeful.  I’m always hopeful while at the same time fully expecting another wrench to be thrown in the middle of it all.  I’m hopeful anyway and I’m still working my ass off to get through this rough patch.  After all, we all have them, mine just have a little crazy sprinkled in.

Published by E or Ms. Lioness

Poet, survivor and thriver. Neurodivergent and not afraid to show it. Mental health advocate, trauma survivor, Dx: Depression, anxiety, panic, C-PTSD, ADHD and there is a very strong change I reside within a spectrum you may have heard of…. I accept that there is darkness in me. I accept that when you have experienced trauma, for much of your life, there is no escaping your dark side. I choose to be mostly good and I accept that the good and bad is all mine.

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